Collecting my thoughts.

I'm attempting to collect my thoughts.
As soon as I do, I'll do a real post, but until then,
bask in the beauty that Mother nature displays to us on a regular basis.

Another trip to my town

I spent the day with my "Adopted Mom" on Tuesday. She is the greatest lady in the whole wide world, and I love her almost as much as my real mom. We had lunch at a little hole in the wall restaurant and then we traveled around town taking pictures.
This is a bird's eye view of Little Rock.
This is the winding road we traveled down to come into town from the bird's eye view.
We ended up A River view Park in North Little Rock.

This is a view of downtown from the river.
This is a view of President Clinton Library from across the river.
This is a rose garden found down town across from the Convention Center
And this is a view from The Big Damn Bridge.
The Big Damn Bridge is a walking, bike riding bridge that spans 1 and a half miles long across The Arkansas River. The bridge cost the city of little rock over 1 million dollars. But this isn't why it is named The Big Dam Bridge. It is named that because it is located on The Murray Locke and Damn.


There is a huge high end neighborhood that overlooks the river. The house cost more than I will ever make in my lifetime. They are beautiful to look at and the architecture is amazing with so many of these homes. They have built them nestled into the hillside and all of them are surrounded by trees and nature. OH to be rich.
And that concludes my day.

My New Body Guards.

Nathan and Forrest

The boys graduated from a white belt, to an orange belt a couple of weeks ago. They were totally excited and had to show off some of their moves. They were also excited because their two best friends were able to go to the belt graduation and watch.
Ben, Nathan, Jakob, and Forrest

A trip to feed the Catfish

During my last conversation I had with my dad he told me that the only thing he regrets is the fact that he isn't going to make it out to my "little farm" and fish in my pond. On Wednesday, I drove out to our property and fed the catfish. I talked to my dad and told him to make sure and bring Richard and James (my brother's) with him anytime he wished to fish. I walked around the property and explained the detail of the land to him. You see this clearing over here? I think this would be a perfect place to build our house. It would nestle perfectly in the middle of these trees.

We will be able to sit on the back porch and look at all of the natural beauty that surrounds us.
Dad always loved nature, I guess that is why I have always loved it too.

We will be able to watch the huge pines sway in the wind. Doesn't the yard look beautiful, Dad?

And the wild daisy's are blooming. Daisy was my grandmother's name.




Yep, dad would have loved the "little farm" I hope he comes along in Spirit every time I go from now on.

The Sunset

The sun has set on my father's life.
He slipped peacefully away.
Although my emotions are crashing over me in tidal waves,
I know in my heart that he is in a better place.

This is all I have the heart to say.

I'm having a Crap Day

I have decided that today life sucks. Sure, it's sunny and beautiful outside. The temperature is about 75. A perfect day. But I feel like my head is a balloon and someone keeps blowing it up. It all started yesterday. I woke up feeling terrible, but I dragged myself out of bed and into work anyway. At about 10am I got a call from the school telling me that Nathan had thrown up in class and that I needed to go pick him up. So I left, and went to pick up a rather peppy child. He told me that he had been coughing and that is what caused him to gag. He basically threw up phlegm. He had not eaten all day and he was hungry, so we went and ate fajitas at our favorite Mexican place. Then we came home and took a nap and then we played Lego Indiana Jones on the Playstation 2 together. I got a phone call at 315pm from one of my neighbors to tell me that she was stuck in traffic and asked me if her boys could walk to my house after school. So I had four boys at my house. Then three more neighbor kids showed up. So from about 3:30 until 6 I had 6 boys and 1 girl at my house. I felt like I was living in a Children of the Corn movie or something. After a while, I noticed that all the kids were playing outside in the front yard, except Nathan. I went inside to check on him and found him asleep in our recliner. Ok, perhaps he isn't as well as I thought he was. He slept most of the evening, then he woke up terribly congested and complaining of sharp pain on the left side of his chest when he breathed. I felt his forehead and he was warm, and the thermometer confirmed that the had a 101 degree fever. So off to the E.R. we went in hopes that he did not have pneumonia. As soon as we got into the truck, he vomited all over the floorboard. SWEET! We get to the E.R. at around 11:00. They aren't too terribly busy, so we get placed into an extremely cold room rather quickly. Two hours later, someone comes in to take his vital signs, and I ask them if a Dr. is going to seem him tonight. They give me a very funny look and then ask, "No one has been in here?" I reply, "Not since the nurse brought us back, two hours ago." By this time Nathan was is major distress and discomfort. He was freezing, and frankly, so was I. They gave him a blanket, and then they went and got a Dr. Of course he came back apologizing for our long wait and told me that it has been a crazy night. Considering I only saw three other patients in the E.R., I was a bit dubious of this statement. But they did the chest x-ray, and it came back normal. Thank heavens. But he does have an upper respiratory infection. It is 3 am at this time. The give him a dose of antibiotic and give us our discharge papers and we get up to leave. Nathan is very unsteady on his feet. He makes it to then next bed beyond our curtain and collapses on it, and then proceeds to vomit all over the bed and the floor. Then he sits down in a chair beside one of their computer and dry heaves on it. Have he has collected himself, we proceed down the hall toward the exit. Apparently, the nurse spoke to the Dr., and we were flagged down just shy of the exit. He informed me that he could not send the boy home in the condition that he was in. So we were brought back in to a different room. This time were were both given a heated blanket. Nathan was give some more meds and we stayed another two hours. We finally escaped that frozen Hell at 5am this morning. I was so tired, I could hardly keep my eyes open. We got home and we both fell into bed and we didn't move until 1030 this morning. That's when I got a dreaded phone call. My dad. They have now put him on a morphine drip and they expect him to pass in 2-3 days. They want to know how soon I can be there. Unfortunately, I cannot get up there until Saturday. If he passes before I get there, that will be ok. I got to say my goodbyes to him a few months ago, and those are the memories that I prefer to keep. I have tried to avoid seeing him in this weakened and frail state. I just don't think my heart could withstand seeing him die. I really hope he goes before I get there. Anyway, I feel like crap, and it just hasn't been my week. And it's only Wednesday. But I'll get through it. I always does.