Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
The following story is an original of mine. My son, Forrest, for the first time has a pair of shoes with shoestrings. I usually buy them with Velcro straps. I have been trying to teach him to tie his own shoes, unfortunately, I am not as patient as the mom in the story. His shoes are untied all of the time. ARRRGH! I hope you enjoy the story.
“Shoe String Shenanigans”
The following is a tale about Boy One and Boy Two,
Who never did learn how to tie their own shoes?
Boy One and Boy Two was a couple of brothers,
And the lack of their learning was the fault of their mother.
Their mother was busy with cleaning and chores,
like folding the laundry that reached from ceiling to floor.
So I’m not saying their mother was bad,
‘cause they could have been taught by their good ol’ dad.
But dad was always busy with work and the lawn,
and when he tried to teach them he’d begin to yawn.
So shoes with no shoe strings is what they got.
Yes, shoes with no shoe strings they helped out a lot.
But the problem began when they started to school,
And shoes required shoe strings, yes, that was the rule.
So off to the shoe store went father and mother
to buy shoes with shoe strings for the two brothers.
And they fumbled and bumbled with those nasty long strings.
Tying their shoes was a terrible thing.
For days and days they tried teaching each another.
Boy One helped Boy Two and Boy two helped his brother.
But since they had never officially been taught,
Well the laces they ended in one giant knot.
The knot was so big, it would not come untied.
Why, I believe that the knot may have reached the sky.
Finally the laces could be knotted no more.
Knots so big the shoes would not fit through the door.
And the brothers well, they both began to cry,
“Why Mother, why, why, why.”
“Please take the time to show us how,
to tie our own shoe strings, we must know now.
For we do not like them all tied up in knots.
No, we do not like it, we like it not.
You must teach us, please do not delay.
You must teach us, Mother, it must be today.”
So their mother put aside all of her chores,
She put off doing the laundry galore.
She sat down beside Boy One and Boy Two
and patiently she taught them to tie their own shoes.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Click on the link below and enter your cell phone number and it will immediately zero in on your location. Type in area code 1st then the phone # with no dash (-) http://www.satellite-gps-locator.com
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Well, I am so close to being published that I can almost smell the glue. Yesterday I sent in my inside galley corrections, so it is just a matter of time before the product is finished. What am I talking about? Well my children's book, of course. No, this one does not rhyme, but I did draw all of the illustrations myself. The story is about twin brothers. One is an Octopus and the other is a Wolf dog. It is a wonderful heartfelt story filled with action, danger, and brotherly love. "Underwater Adventures of Wolf dog and Octopus" is my first venture into publishing. I am self publishing it through Author house. If any of you writers out there are interested in checking them out you can log on to their website at http://www.authorhouse.com/ They have really made the self publishing process easy. Most of it has been completed by either email or fax, and they are very quick to answer all of my questions. So far, I am only out about $800 for the process, so they are relatively affordable. I guesstimate that I will probably have about $1200-$1500 invested in the finishing product. I will be sure to keep all of you informed about the process of the book, and for sure once it hits the store shelves. It will be sold on Amazon and Barns and Noble and several other chain retailers. You will even be able to purchase it through Author house. So keep your eyes peeled for further details, and I will thank you all for you support. Oh yeah, Nathan and Forrest will thank you too. After all, It was there college fund I spent to get the book published.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Dazed and Confused.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I was trying to come up with an art project to do with 50 1st graders for a Valentine's Day art project, but I have decided that this is not the one. Not only is it too time consuming to do in 30 minutes, but dangerous. So, if any of you crafty people out there have any cute, simple ideas for an art project for 6 and 7 year old that can be completed within 30 minutes without a lot of adult supervision, send me a comment. I could use all the help I can get.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Kicking and screaming,
Tearing and swearing.
If they keep this up much longer,
I won't be caring,
About who is the bad one and who is the good
I'd just run away if I thought that I could.
This fighting is not ceasing,
It never will stop,
It just keeps on going,
It's past twelve o clock.
They are biting and clawing and throwing their toys,
and making the most horrible kind of noise.
I've tried everything,
There is not a drug that the Doc can prescribe
to cure me of this evil that resides in my crib.
Yes, I am talking about my sweet little kids.
They're ornery and rotten, their nasty and mean.
They only like candy, but hate pinto beans.
They barrage me with questions, with demands galore,
They have so many toys, I can't see the floor.
They are just spoiled rotten from their head to their toes,
I hate when they won't let me blow their runny nose.
But some how I love them, though they are dastardly beasts.
They always look like angels, well at least when they sleep.
Friday, January 18, 2008
We all have read A Cat in a Hat,
But have you heard the one of how the Cat ate the Rat?
Yes, I know it sounds really gross,
But this is how the story goes.
The Cat was sleeping one day in bed,
when the Rat decided to poke out his head.
He poked his head out of his hole,
and on a journey he decided to go.
He crept his way throughout the house.
He walked as quietly as a mouse.
The mistress of the house spotted the Rat.
Can you imagine what happened after that?
With a broom in one hand, dustpan in the other,
She started screaming, "Oh, HOLY MOTHER!"
""Where on Earth is that useless house cat?
I need him now to come catch this rat!"
From out of his sleep, the cat was awaking.
His heart was pounding, and his body was quaking.
The Cat began to assume his role,
he chased the Rat right out the window.
They ran out the window, into the yard,
All the way to the crosswalk guard.
The crosswalk guard, she blew her whistle,
But the Cat and Rat were as slick as a thistle.
They made their way across the street.
Not a single car on their way did they meet.
They made their way to the neighbor's front yard.
The Rat, he was breathing tremendously hard.
The Cat, he was nimble, quick, and fast.
He pounced on the Rat there in the grass.
He caught the Rat between his two front paws,
And then he instinctively began to gnaw.
He quickly chewed off the poor Rat's head.
Now the nasty big Rat is dead.
This put an ending to all of the rouse.
Did this sound anything like Dr. Seuss?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Crystal blue water flows softly through Charcoal Filter Falls. We are swimming peacefully in our tranquil five gallon home. Light dances off of the lava rock, creating tiny rippled rainbows that float through the pristine water. All is quiet and still. We flurry through our daily routine: swim, eat, poop, swim, eat, swim, poop, mate, eat, poop, and swim. Live is good here in Tankville.
Oh, I see something on the fake log!
Drats it is only a piece of poo. Oh well, I guess I will just swim some more."
But suddenly two dark shadows hover over Tankville.
Oh no, it is the alien monster boys. They have come to scoop us up in the giant green fish net of terror!
I frantically swim away from this horrible green mesh casket of doom, but alas, Tankville is too small and soon I am trapped. My fate is sealed and soon I shall take a ride on the Porcelain Express.
As I lie there in the clasped hand of one of the alien monster boys, I gasp for air. I long to be placed back into my five gallon sanctuary.
I long for my meager existence of eating, swimming, and pooping.
Darkness is closing in around me, as the two evil alien monster boys fight over the right to extinguish my life.
I hear footsteps off in the distance. They fall heavily on the floor. My hopes rise, perhaps it is the big one the other fish call The Savior. I hear harsh words spoken by The Savior.
"Get out of the fish tank," yells The Savior.
"Give me that fish."
I find myself being pried away from the alien monster's tightly clasped fingers. The Savior is now scrutinizing me for any signs of life.
Must try to breath.
In a desperate attempt, I gasp for air, signaling to The Savior that I am still alive.
The Savior quickly places me back inside the protective confinements of Tankville. I inhale a large gulp of water and absorb as much oxygen from it as possible. This time I have survived and I am thankful. But tomorrow, I may not be so lucky.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Perhaps I should re title this blog, the blog interrupted. I sat down here all ready to write and had to get up to microwave a piggies and pancake, make a peanut butter sandwich, let the dog out, and referee a fight. Now, finally, they are watching cartoons, and perhaps I can have some peace and quiet. I am going to cover several things in this blog today. First off, to your left is a lovely picture of our paper sack puppets we created at Boy Scouts on Monday night. I do believe all the boys had a wonderful time making their creations. The whole evening just seemed very calm, all of the boys were very well behaved. I was thrilled the boys enjoyed it so much.
Secondly, Nathan won an award from school today! He was so excited to get his award. And it really made my heart glad. He won the award for the most improved student during the second nine weeks. My Nathan works very hard in school, but he is handwriting challenged. (He comes by it honestly, there is a reason I type everything.) Forrest was upset that he didn't win an award this time, but we explained to him that he got one the last nine weeks when Nathan did not, therefore, they were now even. He seemed alright with that. They both got an honor roll certificate for a free hamburger at McDonald's. (They gave those out to all the kids. )
And Thirdly, CSI's post has prompted me to tell all of you fine folks a story from the past. It was Christmas 2003, and my wonderful family and I took a trip to visit one of my sisters. She lived in Indiana that year, and of course we lived in Arkansas. Well, I had to work Christmas eve, so I got up at 5am and went to work and got home at about 5pm that evening. My husband had the SUV packed and we promptly embarked on our trip. (Please keep in mind that my husband was not looking forward to this trip) Anyway, we left on our trip. Luckily, the boys soon fell asleep and slept almost the entire trip. (I do believe they were 2.5 years old then.) We made it to Indiana at 7am Christmas morning. Hubby and I were both exhausted because we took turns driving the whole night and then stayed awake to keep the other one awake.
My sister lived in a huge house. (She is married to a colon rectal surgeon (aka asshole Dr.) therefore, she could afford it. Hold on I have to go make another peanut butter sandwich....OK I'm back, so as I was saying, my sister has a huge house. It has a basement fully equipped with a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. The toilet even had a Bede (I think that is the correct spelling, for those of you that do not speak French, I'm talking about a toilet that cleans your butt.) Well, we opened our Christmas gifts and then she showed us to the basement where we were suppose to spend the next 5 days. She was showing us around, and my husband noticed a potted banana tree in one corner of the room. He told her that she should move the banana tree plant some place else. She told him that she didn't think the boys would bother the plant, and left it there. BIG MISTAKE!!!!! I'll be right back, all three of my boys are wanting me to take them to McDonald's. ..TWO HOURS LATER>>>
ANYWAY, after breakfast, Hubby and I are tired, so we retreat downstairs with children in tow. We lock the basement door so that the children cannot escape, and promptly we fall asleep for approximately 30 minutes to an hour. I am shaken awake by my husband tapping my shoulder saying, "Hon, Hon, you need to wake up. You have to see what our children have done." Trust me I came awake quickly when I noticed the tone of panic in his voice. Our children had uprooted the banana plant out of it's pot. But they did not stop there. Not our two little Einsteins, no they proceeded to throw muddy dirt all over her white walls, up onto her white ceiling, ground it into her white carpet and smeared in all over her french doors that lead to the backyard from the basement. I'm sorry to say Suzanne, that the banana plant was almost unrecognizable. And no amount of Miracle Grow would save it.
Well, I peered around the room in both horror and amazement, unsure as to what I should do. I whispered to my husband that I though I remembered seeing a vacuum cleaner in a closet up stairs, I thought that we could discreetly clean up the mess and they would never know. But as I crept upstairs, I was spotted by my brother-in-law. He saw the bewildered look on my face and asked me what was the matter. I asked him for a vacuum cleaner, telling him that the boys made a little mess and that I wanted to get it cleaned up. He got the vacuum cleaner and said that he would help me clean it up. I told him it wasn't necessary, but he insisted. So reluctantly, I said OK.
The look on his face when he saw my version of a little mess was priceless. His eyes became the size of half dollars, as he looked around the basement. His head slowly swiveled toward me and in a very hoarse whisper he said, "I thought this was a little mess." "Well, maybe it was a little worse than I thought." We attempted to clean up the mess with the vacuum, but it just smeared the dirt into mud. My sister had watered the plant just before we got there, so it wasn't dry dirt. Well, eventually, my sister was brought down stairs to see her lovely new home decor. She gasped loudly, placed her hand over her mouth and exclaimed, "OH MY GOD!" Then she ran up stairs and called Stanley Steamer. She asked them how much would they charge her to come out and clean up a "plant spot". They really wanted to know who she thought she was asking them to come clean a "plant spot" up on Christmas day. Needless to say, they came out the next day and they wanted to know how in the world we managed to get dirt on the ceiling. To our surprise, it only cost $85 to return her basement back to normal. She refused to let up pay for the damage, because she felt responsible, after all, Hubby did ask her to move the plant. We didn't stay our full 5 days as planned. Instead, we left on the third day. Believe me our reasons for leaving would be a whole other story. But at least we have a legendary tale to tell every year at Christmas time. One that invariably causes everyone to roll in the floor with laughter.
Monday, January 14, 2008
And then there was Nathan. My sweet baby had his heart set on winning a trophy. He was so excited about the first race. He became absolutely crestfallen when his car came in last in the first heat. He picked up his car and cried all the way back to where I was sitting. Then he put his head in my lap and cried very hard. It broke my heart. I just didn't quite know what to say. I held him close and told him that it didn't matter if he wins or loses, that the whole point of the race was to have fun. But he was terribly upset when his car came in last almost time. We both hooted and hollered when he came in third in the last heat. But he did win an award. Although, I'm not sure it was one he was too proud of. I personally think that his car is cool. He was much happier when several of the boys in the neighborhood told him that his car was awesome.
We really had a busy day. The race started at 9am and did not end until 1:30pm. It was quite exhausting to keep an eye on both of them amidst the sea of people packed inside the small area we were in. There were a total of 85 racers, plus their family members, so you can imagine how packed the place was. They had two modified stock cars on display outside, so the boys really thought that was cool. Forrest had climbed inside one of them and managed to hit the start button. To my surprise the car started up and lurched forward, nearly pinning a kid between the two cars. It scared me so badly that I berated the owner of the car for allowing the kids inside when the battery was still hooked up. I told him that if he was going to allow the children to climb all over the car then it should be fixed to where they couldn't start it. He just apologized, and turned very red. I took the boys inside and they did not go near the cars after that.
After the race, we rode our bikes for two miles around the neighborhood, we went out to dinner and had fried calamari and Italian food and finally we were beat. Forrest was so tired that he fell asleep on a pile of covers beside his bed. I was washing his bed clothes and did not have a chance to get his bed made. He looks so sweet and innocent lying there asleep. I didn't have the heart to move him. He looked very comfortable and peaceful. You see, God makes them look like angels when they are sleeping so that we do not kill them while they are awake.(just kidding, I think.) Right now, they are behind me screaming and slamming doors and trying to kiss each other, and basically pestering the dickens out of each other. But no one had cried out in pain yet, so I know they are not hurting one another. I just hope the house can survive. We will be heading to our weekly Boy Scouts Den meeting soon. I had to plan our activity for the night, because our den leader forgot. (Sometimes I wonder who the real den leader is.) We are going to make puppets out of brown paper lunch sacks. Amazingly, I had all the stuff we need just lying around the house. (I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not. It was a lot of stuff, I think I need to clean house.)
But as you can see, our lives are so busy and tiring that even our dog is worn out. But at least it is filled with love! And lots and lots of noise!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Then my commute to work began. Over half of my drive to work is through construction. Not to mention, our parking gate to the parking lot where I work doesn't function properly half the time. Well, I arrive to work 8 minutes late.
Do you ever get the feeling that you work with a bunch of monkeys?
Yes, in this case they are gorrillas.
My commute back home went relatively well.
Then I started my second full time job. Parenthood. (I am rolling my eyes right now and sighing deeply.) My boys are in Boy Scouts. And tonight is the night that we weigh in our pinewood derby cars. We have basically been working for a month making a car out of a block of wood. I have put most of the work into them. Well, I was gluing a weight on them, and I managed to superglue the rear wheels to the axle so that they would not turn anymore. HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. I consult with my superglue specialist, Jeanetta, and she suggests that I douse them with fingernail polish remover. Well, I don't have any(I don't have any fingernails either. I keep them trimmed because germs grow under your nails. YUCK!) But, I borrowed some from my neighbor. I pry off the wheels and soak those babies off and on for two hours. Between soakings, I am using a hammer, screwdriver and any other tool I can get my hands on to help pry the wheel off of the nail it is glued too. Finally, I am successful. I get the wheels functioning and off to the weigh in we go. We are 1oz over the limit. My weight was too heavy. ARRRRGH. Luckily, they have a tool box full of weights. So I tell the boys to fish through the box and pick out some things they like. Then I have to explain to them that they cannot completely cover the car with weights because it would be too heavy and it would be disqualified. After explaining this three or four times to each child we get the cars finished, and checked and decide to go eat Chinese. Word to the wise, don't ever volunteer to take two six year old boys out to eat Chinese when you are already frustrated and ready to kill someone. Especially by yourself. My husband calls us in the middle of dinner and doesn't like all of the noise he can hear and asks me if I could get away from the noise. I tell him no. I told him that I was in the middle of a restaurant with the boys and I could not very well just get up and walk out. He hangs up on me. (Don't worry, I called him back! And no, no one is dead and yes we are still married. ha ha). Anyway, I have bored all of you for way too long. I am now sitting here typing this long winded recollection of my day. I am happy to report that my headache is subsiding, and I think my blood pressure is slowly returning to normal. I commend all of you for reading this all the way through, and please forgive me for my ramblings. But telling you all of this has certainly made me feel better. But, I really do wish I was aboard a ship and sailing away to Paradise.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
This was forwarded to me & so I am passing it on.
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to Autism Speaks for *each time* the video is viewed...funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. Link to the site:http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214=20
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Yeah, I can see why you requested this one. I had forgotten how pretty it was. I have to agree with you, this is the best one I have ever done. For everyone else, sorry for my little public conversation here with my friend. This particular painting was created as a wedding gift for a co-worker and friend. The rumor at work is that I always give the best gifts at Christmas time. Hey, they are entitled to their own opinions. But as you can tell, I never create art to keep it. I usually create it and then give it away. Good thing that I have a day job!
Monday, January 7, 2008
"Serenity Now" is one of my favorite paintings. This is a self portrait (well, sort of) I do actually have eyes, a nose, and a mouth. I have ears too! But I love to sit in the woods beside a flowing stream. Mother Nature is a wonderful artist. Way better than me anyway.
"Pterodactyl " was done for my son, Nathan a couple of years ago. At that time, pink was his favorite color. He was, and still is, crazy about dinosaurs. I wanted to give him something special for his Birthday that year, and this is what he got.
Of course, I could not leave out Forrest. His favorite color at the time of this painting was yellow, and he called himself "The Yellow Lion", hence, the painting. Forrest was upset with this painting because the Lion did not have a nest, and he wanted eggs and a baby. Oh well, maybe he can appreciate it later in life.
And finally, the showcase of my living room. "By the Light of The Moon".
Sunday, January 6, 2008
On a hot summer night, beside the water’s edge,
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
I am in a melancholy mood today, with a bit of sadness thrown into the mix. I have been thinking about the passing of my mother-in-law today, and decided to call my own mother. It saddened me almost to the verge of tears. You see, my father is very ill. He is suffering from decreased renal function of only 15%, plus his hear only functions at 30%. He suffers from diabetes type II. He needs a pace maker and dialysis, but refused both. My mother is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. And even though I have told her what I got for Christmas, she still asked me several time throughout the conversation. Each time I told her again and her reaction was the same. I was hoping this year would be easier than last year, but today, I was hit by the realization that I would soon lose both of my parents. This made me feel very sad and alone. But, I should be thankful, because I know that I have two wonderful sons that love me, I have a beautiful husband that supports and loves me, and I have the most amazing group of friends to lean on for support. So even though, I am sitting here and reflecting on my sadness and loss, I am rejoicing in the happiness of my life.
All of this reflection made me think of a poem that I wrote several years ago, it goes as follows:
With blue-veined hands, she clutches a picture, tarnished yellow from age.
The child she once held so dear to her heart smiles sweetly from the frame.
She closed her eyes and lets her mind travel, back through a millennium of years.
As she slips farther away from reality, slowly her life line drains.
He sits there with her now. The night about them is heavy with death.
She opens her eyes and the light floods through the window.
The light lands upon his Angelical face.
She says,” Come closer dear, chase away the darkness with your smile.”
He says, “Come play with me, Mommy, in the golden fields above.”
Her clutched fingers suddenly relax, as the picture falls to the floor.
They race through the fields white unto harvest.
Mother and Son together, this time for eternity.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I found out that we are running short on dishwasher liquid after I packed the dishwasher full of dirty dishes. No problem, so I think. I have enough to fill the pre-wash compartment, so I think I can use regular dish liquid to fill the other one. Boy did I find out the hard way that this was not a good idea.
Twenty minutes later my six year old walks into the kitchen and shouts, "Who made this mess?" I shout back, "What mess?" He come to the living room where I am watching T.V. takes me by the hand and says. "Come here, Mom." He gently walks me into the kitchen and shows me. Half of the kitchen floor is cover in water and soap suds. There are still suds coming from the dishwasher. Promptly, I grab the mop and proceed to create a skating rink of liquid dish soap suds smeared across ceramic tile floor. I get the mess cleaned up, and my dishwasher goes into it's second rinse. Guess what! It happens all over again. I open up the dishwasher and it is filled with suds. What do I do? Well, I need to get rid of the bubbles. So, I take the spray hose and stretch it as far as I can and I am spraying down the soap suds in the bottom of my dishwasher. I have now successfully manage to make the Mother of all messes, but at least there is one bright spot in all of this. I have a clean kitchen floor. Maybe even clean enough to eat off of. Tell me that isn't creative. HA!