I am in a melancholy mood today, with a bit of sadness thrown into the mix. I have been thinking about the passing of my mother-in-law today, and decided to call my own mother. It saddened me almost to the verge of tears. You see, my father is very ill. He is suffering from decreased renal function of only 15%, plus his hear only functions at 30%. He suffers from diabetes type II. He needs a pace maker and dialysis, but refused both. My mother is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. And even though I have told her what I got for Christmas, she still asked me several time throughout the conversation. Each time I told her again and her reaction was the same. I was hoping this year would be easier than last year, but today, I was hit by the realization that I would soon lose both of my parents. This made me feel very sad and alone. But, I should be thankful, because I know that I have two wonderful sons that love me, I have a beautiful husband that supports and loves me, and I have the most amazing group of friends to lean on for support. So even though, I am sitting here and reflecting on my sadness and loss, I am rejoicing in the happiness of my life.
All of this reflection made me think of a poem that I wrote several years ago, it goes as follows:
The Aged and the Innocent
With blue-veined hands, she clutches a picture, tarnished yellow from age.
The child she once held so dear to her heart smiles sweetly from the frame.
She closed her eyes and lets her mind travel, back through a millennium of years.
As she slips farther away from reality, slowly her life line drains.
He sits there with her now. The night about them is heavy with death.
She opens her eyes and the light floods through the window.
The light lands upon his Angelical face.
She says,” Come closer dear, chase away the darkness with your smile.”
He says, “Come play with me, Mommy, in the golden fields above.”
Her clutched fingers suddenly relax, as the picture falls to the floor.
They race through the fields white unto harvest.
Mother and Son together, this time for eternity.
With blue-veined hands, she clutches a picture, tarnished yellow from age.
The child she once held so dear to her heart smiles sweetly from the frame.
She closed her eyes and lets her mind travel, back through a millennium of years.
As she slips farther away from reality, slowly her life line drains.
He sits there with her now. The night about them is heavy with death.
She opens her eyes and the light floods through the window.
The light lands upon his Angelical face.
She says,” Come closer dear, chase away the darkness with your smile.”
He says, “Come play with me, Mommy, in the golden fields above.”
Her clutched fingers suddenly relax, as the picture falls to the floor.
They race through the fields white unto harvest.
Mother and Son together, this time for eternity.
So to all of you, even though this world is filled with trials and hardships, please remember the remarkable gifts of life. And although none of us make it out of this life alive, let us hope and pray that there is certainly an afterlife waiting on the other side.
