Monday, July 20, 2009

Mermaid or a Whale?




Mermaid or a Whale

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.To Whom It May Concern:Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am.¨

96 comments:

Megan said...

Oh, snap!

Suzanne said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!! I want to be a whale!

I actually fell in love with Marine Biology and pursued it a bit because of whales. Then came Biochem. You know me and Biochem. I nearly died. My life as a Marine Biologist was over. I still have all my beautiful whale books. I'm trying to scale back. Would the kids like them? I've been wondering what to do with them and think I may have found the perfect home. I will send them as soon as I ship what I promised to Leah, Em and Kylie! What? Do I look perfect? No, I'm a whale. A beautiful whale.

XO

Suzanne said...

Unfortunately I'm also a skinny whale. I still count, right?

Cece said...

Meg,
Snapdragon! I don't know, it just sounded funny at the time.

Suze,
Yes, I was already expecting the whale books. You told me that you would send them. But I have not told the kids about it because I know how you are about mailing things. So, when they show up at the door, I'll let them know they are coming. That way, they are not disappointed, and better yet, they are not constantly asking me when they are going to get here.

Megan said...

It's hilarious and great!

Suzanne said...

Cece and Megan,

Do me a favor and visit my friend "Otin." Trust me. Just trust me. He can be found at the top of the comment page on my current blog. And then visit his link to "Un Mom."

In my most brilliant Monty Python voice, "Say no more, say no more."

You're welcome.
;)

P.S. Cece, you little wise ass. I will get those in the mail!

Mr. Shife said...

That is awesome. What a great way to respond to a stupid ad. Whales rock!!!

kylie said...

i came by and read this and forgot to comment. it's great.
xo

Megan said...

What up, Cece! I got a new phone and all my numbers did not migrate over correctly. So now I can't call you, until you call me again and get my voice mail again (which I have not yet set up, btw).

xoxoxoxo

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