Exploding Veggie Tales

Today has been a funny day. I went to Subway for lunch and while I was standing in line waiting for my sandwich, a Doctor from the hospital I work at came in and stood beside me. I recognized me and began talking shop to me right there in line. We were talking Microbiology and the girls making our sandwiches were looking at us like we were crazy. Then he proceeded to follow me to the booth and plopped himself down across from me and talked "medicine" with me during my entire lunch hour. Actually I only get 30 minutes for lunch, but being it was a weekend, I took a bit longer than usual. It was just really weird, and totally unexpected for me.

When I got home, I decided to look on T.V and see if anything worth watching was on. Hitch was on. I absolutely love that movie. The part where Kevin James shows Will Smith his dance moves makes me laugh my ass off. I rewound that part about 10 times before my kids and their friend started looking at me like I had lost my mind. I laughed until I cried each time. I swear I could watch that movie over, and over, and over again and it would never get old.

Lastly, I was cooking dinner and I placed some steam in the bag vegetable in the microwave and turned it on for 4 minutes. Unfortunately, I didn't read the direction on how to cook it. Apparently, you are suppose to puncture the bag a couple of times with a fork before placing it in the microwave, unless you want to clean up exploding vegetable out of your microwave. It sounds like a bomb going off in your kitchen when the bag explodes, just in case any of you were curious. And yes, the bag was demolished. But I just scrapped the veggies off of the bottom of the microwave and served them up for dinner. UMMMMM yum!

Clouds

For some reason I really love to look at clouds. One of my favorite things to do with the boys is getting a blanket and lying down in the grass to look at clouds. We have really had some great clouds to look at this summer, and due to all of the rain, our grass is very green and lush and feels like a carpet. I suppose I should have taken a picture of the grass. Maybe I will tomorrow. In the mean time, enjoy my clouds.

My Saturday woes

The boys and I were going to go on a trip Saturday to visit my brother and sister-in-law. Unfortunately, my truck had other plans for us. We got about 7 miles from home and stopped at a four way intersection when the engine decided to stop working. It was as if I had shut off the key. I thought it was as simple as not getting enough gas while idling with the AC on full blast and the radio blaring, so I shut all of those things off, and attempted to restart it. Nope, it wasn't happening. People behind me started to become impatient. Horns started blaring and tempers started to fly. I turned on my hazard lights and rolled down my window and motioned for people to go around me. It was a very awkward situation. I called my husband, but he didn't answer the phone. He was sleeping. I called my neighbor, but she didn't answer the phone. She was driving. I called a friend that lived perhaps two miles from where I was stranded, but she didn't answer the phone. God knows what she was doing. I began to panic. I actually began to cry. I could not believe nobody was even offering to help me. There I was, a woman, alone with two children, and clearly having trouble. All people could do was honk their horns at me and flip me off as they angrily drove by. I decided I would attempt to push my truck through the intersection and into a bank parking lot. At least then I would be pissing those losers off. Luckily, two Mexican dudes pulled up behind me as I was attempting to push my 4,000 lb vehicle through the intersection. They told me to get into the truck and steer while they pushed. So I did, and they helped me get the truck into the drive thru of the bank parking lot. Unfortunately, I was facing the vehicles as they were coming out of the drive thru and it confused them to have me sitting there. They could squeeze through, but they were slow to figure this out. My neighbor called me back and went to our house to wake my husband. She got to my house and called again. There was a Do Not Disturb sign on our door and she was afraid to ring the doorbell. I told her to please Disturb him. Ring the doorbell until he answered. Anything to get him awake. He got up and came to help, but in the mean time a military guy saw me attempting to push the truck into a parking space. I was not succeeding, because it was slightly up hill, and it required me to turn the wheel and push at the same time. Has anyone ever attempted to turn the wheels of a power steering vehicle without power steering? So, he helped me get out of the way, and I was very grateful. The thing that pissed me off the most is that we had more people stop and asked us if we needed help AFTER my husband arrived then while I was alone. What is it with these people? I thought we were suppose to be kind in the South? Well, to make a long story short. We called a tow truck and they towed it off. Hubby took me and the kids home and that was that.
I found out today that it was the timing belt broke. Now it is going to cost me over $300 to repair it. OUCH!!!!

The Day I almost died.

I almost died today. No, I'm not kidding. Me, a person that swims almost as good as a fish, almost drown today. As most of you know, today is Nathan and Forrest's actual birthday. So I took them to a water park called Wild River Country. It is only about 20-30 minutes from our house, and since we have season passes, it was really quite inexpensive. So we got there and we road some really fun slides.

There was the lightening fast and dark water slide called the Vortex, I shout out of that sucker like a bullet out of a gun. And man did I have to pull my suit out of the crack of my ass afterwards.

And then there was the slide they called Vertigo. I called it the toilet bowl. I know know what a piece of shit feels like when it gets flushed down a toilet. On this slide, you shoot down that long shoot into a bowl where you swirl around the bottom of the bowl a few times before you are deposited into the cesspool beneath. Unfortunately for me, it deposited me face first into the concrete side of the pool. But this isn't what almost killed me. Oh no folks, there was way more fun to be had.

Next we took a ride down the river rapids. With this rides there was a series of quick little shoot and you would hit a deeper swirling pool, then another quick shoot and then another deep pool, so on and so forth. Each time I shot down the quick rapid and hit the deeper pool, my tube would flip. I discovered that I stayed on the tube if I could manage to go down the rapid backwards. But if i went down if forward, by feet would hit that deep pool and I would face plant right into the water.

The next ride was the cyclone. This one was a lot of fun. The boys and I rode this one together on one of those giant for person tubes. Half of this ride is in darkness and the rest is in full daylight terror. It was really an exhilarating ride, but the forty foot climb to the top with one of those four person tubes, almost gave me a heart attack. But still, this is not where I almost died.

We then took our chances on a slide called white lightening. This slide scared the Bejesus out of me. I just knew I was going to pop up over the side and hit the ground at speeds of 80 miles per hour. But I didn't. Instead it was another one of those instant water enemas at the deposit pool at the bottom.

Last but not least, came the wave pool.

Don't let this picture fool you, that place was treacherous. When we first got there, it looked like one giant swimming pool. The waters were calm and peaceful. I asked the boys, "I thought we were going to the Wave pool?" They replied, "This is the wave pool." I replied, "Well I don't see any waves." They replied, "Just wait until the buzzer goes off." GReAT!!!! So, off they went into the deep end. We were in 8 feet of water. We were swimming around and having a good time, when all of a sudden a buzzer goes off. Forrest is terrified and he starts swimming as fast as he could to the shallow end before the waves hit. Nathan is a good 10 feet away from me when a huge wave crashes right over his head. He comes back up to the surface in a panic. I swim to him as fast and I can and grab him. It is virtually impossible to swim in 3 foot swells with 65 extra pounds strapped to your hip. I manage as best as I can to get to the ladder at the side of the pool. I pull Nathan up onto the ladder and attempt to keep my head and his head above water. The waves are literally relentless. They are pounding us against the wall of the pool and the ladder. I am frantically look back toward the area that Forrest swam into trying to see if he was alright, but I could not see him. The life guard, sat under his umbrella and kept blowing his whistle and pointing at me. Finally after doing this for about 5 minutes, he gets his sorry ass up off of his chair and comes to the ladder. He kneels down and tells me that I am not allowed to hold on to the ladder. I looked up at him as best as I could and I inform the little shit head that it is either hold onto the ladder and me and my son drown. I then asked him which would he prefer. He then asked me if I needed some help! "Yes, I need help." I asked him to grab my son. He asked me if I wanted him to pull Nathan out of the water. "Yes, get him out of the water. At least then I know that he is safe. I told him that if I had both arms free, I could probably make my way back to the shallow end. So he pulled Nathan out of the water and Nathan started crying. "Don't drown Mom, who would take care of us?" I told him I wasn't going to drown and then I told him to go look for his brother at the shallow end. I started swimming my way to the shallow end. By time I made it to the shallow end, the waves were over. I found Forrest and Nathan holding hand and crying. They thought I had drown. Forrest told me he could see us the whole time and he kept telling people that his mom and his brother were in trouble, but they kept ignoring him! I told the boys we were not going to do that one EVER again! So that is the story of how I almost died today. I just hope I don't get sick from all of the chlorinated water I swallowed.

What's up?

Not much is happening around here this week. I have been on vacation and I'm just trying to rest up and enjoy my family. Monday we headed to Greer's Ferry Lake to go camping. I saw this old house along the way and I just had to pull over and take a picture of it. I thought the contrast of the nicely pruned yard and the old dis repaired house were beautiful. Creepy in a beautiful way. There was a truck in the yard, so I think someone still lives here. I wonder what their energy bills are like? I bet that's scary.

We got a camping spot, we set up our tent and the boys gathered wood and built us two camp fires. Then we went swimming, blew up our air mattress beds (well at least one of them), and I cooked dinner while the boys and dad went fishing for fish bait. They caught some little brim and minnows to use as bait for bigger fish. After they had some bait, they came back and we ate dinner. Then the boys and I went swimming again while dad rigged the poles up for bigger fish. When we returned, we noticed it was starting to cloud up. My husband took the boys fishing some more while I cleaned up from dinner and then we lit up the camp fire and made smores. I called a friend of mine and asked her to check the radar. We had thunderstorms moving in. She told me that the would probably be upon us by around midnight. As we watched the campfire die down, my husband and I discussed going home. We took a vote and all of voted unanimously to pack up and go home. We didn't want to wake up wet in the middle of the night. So about 10pm we packed up our stuff and drove the hour home. Half way home, it started to rain. So we left just in time. When we got home, we were all exhausted, so we unpacked only the necessities and went to bed.


Today, I spent the day preparing for Nathan and Forrest's birthday party. It was quite successful. I bought a plain white cake and then went on line and printed these Penguins of Madagascar pictures. I taped them to plastic toothpicks, and had instant decorations! The kids were very excited about it. The boys love those characters.

About two hours before the party started, it started raining. Fortunately, by the time all the kids had eaten their pizza, it stopped, so they were able to swim for about an hour anyway. They all had a blast. There were 8 boys in the pool at one time. They ranged in ages from 5-12, but surprisingly, they all played quite well together. It started thundering again, so I had to call them out of the pool, and after everyone dried off, we had cake, ice cream, and opened presents. The party went very smoothly, and was not stressful at all. And it was all pretty inexpensive. I was able to put the entire party together for under $50. Tomorrow, if it's not raining, we are going to go to a water park. I hope this week isn't a total wash out! But even if it is, at least I'm not at work!

Fading Rainbows

I was cleaning the floors today and thinking about things, when this chorus for a new song popped into my head. I'll let all of you know how it progresses.

Loving you is like rainbows in the sky
It seems to fade away with the storm clouds passing by.
It left me feeling lonely high and dry
Loving you is like rainbows in the sky.

Mermaid or a Whale?

Mermaid or a Whale

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.To Whom It May Concern:Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am.¨