Where the Hell have I been?

I'm not sure, but slowly and forcefully I'm clawing my way back.

Life has crashed down upon me with the force of a waterfall,

As I've thrashed for breath.

Creativity, it's been lacking.

But the spark and intrigue still remains.

I crave the passion of life that once filled me.

Alas, how does one get it back?

To look through life through fresh eyes.

To see the world anew.

I'm not sure, but slowly and forcefully I'm clawing my way back.

Something out of nothing.

I made a chili cheese dip for a Church supper on Saturday, and I wanted to be funny, so I added the bananna pepper eyeball for artistic flair. Guess what? People still ate this! Actually, it tasted way better than it looked. Gig gave me the recipie. Thanks, Gig.

The boys and I were playing around with the camera. We have so much fun together!

I'm not feeling well today, but I realize I have neglected Bloggerland for the past month. So I though I would at least post a little something, even if it is nothing.

AWWWW

Nothing is sweeter than a boy and his dog.

Exploding Veggie Tales

Today has been a funny day. I went to Subway for lunch and while I was standing in line waiting for my sandwich, a Doctor from the hospital I work at came in and stood beside me. I recognized me and began talking shop to me right there in line. We were talking Microbiology and the girls making our sandwiches were looking at us like we were crazy. Then he proceeded to follow me to the booth and plopped himself down across from me and talked "medicine" with me during my entire lunch hour. Actually I only get 30 minutes for lunch, but being it was a weekend, I took a bit longer than usual. It was just really weird, and totally unexpected for me.

When I got home, I decided to look on T.V and see if anything worth watching was on. Hitch was on. I absolutely love that movie. The part where Kevin James shows Will Smith his dance moves makes me laugh my ass off. I rewound that part about 10 times before my kids and their friend started looking at me like I had lost my mind. I laughed until I cried each time. I swear I could watch that movie over, and over, and over again and it would never get old.

Lastly, I was cooking dinner and I placed some steam in the bag vegetable in the microwave and turned it on for 4 minutes. Unfortunately, I didn't read the direction on how to cook it. Apparently, you are suppose to puncture the bag a couple of times with a fork before placing it in the microwave, unless you want to clean up exploding vegetable out of your microwave. It sounds like a bomb going off in your kitchen when the bag explodes, just in case any of you were curious. And yes, the bag was demolished. But I just scrapped the veggies off of the bottom of the microwave and served them up for dinner. UMMMMM yum!

Clouds

For some reason I really love to look at clouds. One of my favorite things to do with the boys is getting a blanket and lying down in the grass to look at clouds. We have really had some great clouds to look at this summer, and due to all of the rain, our grass is very green and lush and feels like a carpet. I suppose I should have taken a picture of the grass. Maybe I will tomorrow. In the mean time, enjoy my clouds.

My Saturday woes

The boys and I were going to go on a trip Saturday to visit my brother and sister-in-law. Unfortunately, my truck had other plans for us. We got about 7 miles from home and stopped at a four way intersection when the engine decided to stop working. It was as if I had shut off the key. I thought it was as simple as not getting enough gas while idling with the AC on full blast and the radio blaring, so I shut all of those things off, and attempted to restart it. Nope, it wasn't happening. People behind me started to become impatient. Horns started blaring and tempers started to fly. I turned on my hazard lights and rolled down my window and motioned for people to go around me. It was a very awkward situation. I called my husband, but he didn't answer the phone. He was sleeping. I called my neighbor, but she didn't answer the phone. She was driving. I called a friend that lived perhaps two miles from where I was stranded, but she didn't answer the phone. God knows what she was doing. I began to panic. I actually began to cry. I could not believe nobody was even offering to help me. There I was, a woman, alone with two children, and clearly having trouble. All people could do was honk their horns at me and flip me off as they angrily drove by. I decided I would attempt to push my truck through the intersection and into a bank parking lot. At least then I would be pissing those losers off. Luckily, two Mexican dudes pulled up behind me as I was attempting to push my 4,000 lb vehicle through the intersection. They told me to get into the truck and steer while they pushed. So I did, and they helped me get the truck into the drive thru of the bank parking lot. Unfortunately, I was facing the vehicles as they were coming out of the drive thru and it confused them to have me sitting there. They could squeeze through, but they were slow to figure this out. My neighbor called me back and went to our house to wake my husband. She got to my house and called again. There was a Do Not Disturb sign on our door and she was afraid to ring the doorbell. I told her to please Disturb him. Ring the doorbell until he answered. Anything to get him awake. He got up and came to help, but in the mean time a military guy saw me attempting to push the truck into a parking space. I was not succeeding, because it was slightly up hill, and it required me to turn the wheel and push at the same time. Has anyone ever attempted to turn the wheels of a power steering vehicle without power steering? So, he helped me get out of the way, and I was very grateful. The thing that pissed me off the most is that we had more people stop and asked us if we needed help AFTER my husband arrived then while I was alone. What is it with these people? I thought we were suppose to be kind in the South? Well, to make a long story short. We called a tow truck and they towed it off. Hubby took me and the kids home and that was that.
I found out today that it was the timing belt broke. Now it is going to cost me over $300 to repair it. OUCH!!!!

The Day I almost died.

I almost died today. No, I'm not kidding. Me, a person that swims almost as good as a fish, almost drown today. As most of you know, today is Nathan and Forrest's actual birthday. So I took them to a water park called Wild River Country. It is only about 20-30 minutes from our house, and since we have season passes, it was really quite inexpensive. So we got there and we road some really fun slides.

There was the lightening fast and dark water slide called the Vortex, I shout out of that sucker like a bullet out of a gun. And man did I have to pull my suit out of the crack of my ass afterwards.

And then there was the slide they called Vertigo. I called it the toilet bowl. I know know what a piece of shit feels like when it gets flushed down a toilet. On this slide, you shoot down that long shoot into a bowl where you swirl around the bottom of the bowl a few times before you are deposited into the cesspool beneath. Unfortunately for me, it deposited me face first into the concrete side of the pool. But this isn't what almost killed me. Oh no folks, there was way more fun to be had.

Next we took a ride down the river rapids. With this rides there was a series of quick little shoot and you would hit a deeper swirling pool, then another quick shoot and then another deep pool, so on and so forth. Each time I shot down the quick rapid and hit the deeper pool, my tube would flip. I discovered that I stayed on the tube if I could manage to go down the rapid backwards. But if i went down if forward, by feet would hit that deep pool and I would face plant right into the water.

The next ride was the cyclone. This one was a lot of fun. The boys and I rode this one together on one of those giant for person tubes. Half of this ride is in darkness and the rest is in full daylight terror. It was really an exhilarating ride, but the forty foot climb to the top with one of those four person tubes, almost gave me a heart attack. But still, this is not where I almost died.

We then took our chances on a slide called white lightening. This slide scared the Bejesus out of me. I just knew I was going to pop up over the side and hit the ground at speeds of 80 miles per hour. But I didn't. Instead it was another one of those instant water enemas at the deposit pool at the bottom.

Last but not least, came the wave pool.

Don't let this picture fool you, that place was treacherous. When we first got there, it looked like one giant swimming pool. The waters were calm and peaceful. I asked the boys, "I thought we were going to the Wave pool?" They replied, "This is the wave pool." I replied, "Well I don't see any waves." They replied, "Just wait until the buzzer goes off." GReAT!!!! So, off they went into the deep end. We were in 8 feet of water. We were swimming around and having a good time, when all of a sudden a buzzer goes off. Forrest is terrified and he starts swimming as fast as he could to the shallow end before the waves hit. Nathan is a good 10 feet away from me when a huge wave crashes right over his head. He comes back up to the surface in a panic. I swim to him as fast and I can and grab him. It is virtually impossible to swim in 3 foot swells with 65 extra pounds strapped to your hip. I manage as best as I can to get to the ladder at the side of the pool. I pull Nathan up onto the ladder and attempt to keep my head and his head above water. The waves are literally relentless. They are pounding us against the wall of the pool and the ladder. I am frantically look back toward the area that Forrest swam into trying to see if he was alright, but I could not see him. The life guard, sat under his umbrella and kept blowing his whistle and pointing at me. Finally after doing this for about 5 minutes, he gets his sorry ass up off of his chair and comes to the ladder. He kneels down and tells me that I am not allowed to hold on to the ladder. I looked up at him as best as I could and I inform the little shit head that it is either hold onto the ladder and me and my son drown. I then asked him which would he prefer. He then asked me if I needed some help! "Yes, I need help." I asked him to grab my son. He asked me if I wanted him to pull Nathan out of the water. "Yes, get him out of the water. At least then I know that he is safe. I told him that if I had both arms free, I could probably make my way back to the shallow end. So he pulled Nathan out of the water and Nathan started crying. "Don't drown Mom, who would take care of us?" I told him I wasn't going to drown and then I told him to go look for his brother at the shallow end. I started swimming my way to the shallow end. By time I made it to the shallow end, the waves were over. I found Forrest and Nathan holding hand and crying. They thought I had drown. Forrest told me he could see us the whole time and he kept telling people that his mom and his brother were in trouble, but they kept ignoring him! I told the boys we were not going to do that one EVER again! So that is the story of how I almost died today. I just hope I don't get sick from all of the chlorinated water I swallowed.

What's up?

Not much is happening around here this week. I have been on vacation and I'm just trying to rest up and enjoy my family. Monday we headed to Greer's Ferry Lake to go camping. I saw this old house along the way and I just had to pull over and take a picture of it. I thought the contrast of the nicely pruned yard and the old dis repaired house were beautiful. Creepy in a beautiful way. There was a truck in the yard, so I think someone still lives here. I wonder what their energy bills are like? I bet that's scary.

We got a camping spot, we set up our tent and the boys gathered wood and built us two camp fires. Then we went swimming, blew up our air mattress beds (well at least one of them), and I cooked dinner while the boys and dad went fishing for fish bait. They caught some little brim and minnows to use as bait for bigger fish. After they had some bait, they came back and we ate dinner. Then the boys and I went swimming again while dad rigged the poles up for bigger fish. When we returned, we noticed it was starting to cloud up. My husband took the boys fishing some more while I cleaned up from dinner and then we lit up the camp fire and made smores. I called a friend of mine and asked her to check the radar. We had thunderstorms moving in. She told me that the would probably be upon us by around midnight. As we watched the campfire die down, my husband and I discussed going home. We took a vote and all of voted unanimously to pack up and go home. We didn't want to wake up wet in the middle of the night. So about 10pm we packed up our stuff and drove the hour home. Half way home, it started to rain. So we left just in time. When we got home, we were all exhausted, so we unpacked only the necessities and went to bed.


Today, I spent the day preparing for Nathan and Forrest's birthday party. It was quite successful. I bought a plain white cake and then went on line and printed these Penguins of Madagascar pictures. I taped them to plastic toothpicks, and had instant decorations! The kids were very excited about it. The boys love those characters.

About two hours before the party started, it started raining. Fortunately, by the time all the kids had eaten their pizza, it stopped, so they were able to swim for about an hour anyway. They all had a blast. There were 8 boys in the pool at one time. They ranged in ages from 5-12, but surprisingly, they all played quite well together. It started thundering again, so I had to call them out of the pool, and after everyone dried off, we had cake, ice cream, and opened presents. The party went very smoothly, and was not stressful at all. And it was all pretty inexpensive. I was able to put the entire party together for under $50. Tomorrow, if it's not raining, we are going to go to a water park. I hope this week isn't a total wash out! But even if it is, at least I'm not at work!

Fading Rainbows

I was cleaning the floors today and thinking about things, when this chorus for a new song popped into my head. I'll let all of you know how it progresses.

Loving you is like rainbows in the sky
It seems to fade away with the storm clouds passing by.
It left me feeling lonely high and dry
Loving you is like rainbows in the sky.

Mermaid or a Whale?

Mermaid or a Whale

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.To Whom It May Concern:Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good gosh, look how smart I am.¨

Out of town.

I'm going out of town this weekend, but I have a really good post waiting to be written when I get back. Until then, enjoy the view from the top of a Ferris Wheel. It looks quite Urban to me.

My hair is not orange any more.

This is me now. I just got out of the pool, so my hair is wet, uncombed, and I have no makeup on. Not that I wear that much make up anyway. But I thought I would let you all know that I don't have purple and orange hair anymore. Actually, I only had purple and orange hair for one day. And then I washed that grey, I mean purple and orange right outta my hair.! And yes, I do still post. Every once and awhile.

For the Love of FREE FOOD!

HI, ALL YOU ANIMAL LOVERS!
This is pretty simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site and click on the purple box 'fund food for animals for free'. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Please pass it along to people you know. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/

What a weekend!

We have had a jam packed weekend and it has been a blast. It has been just my boys and me. Unfortunately, my husband has worked the past three day and didn't get in on any of the fun. But it has been a great memory making weekend for the boys and me. I was off on Friday, so we went to Greer's Ferry Lake to picnic and swim.

And just as we were leaving the lake, we saw this car. Bob, I think Megan might get around, so I would think long and hard before you say "I DO".

After swimming most of the day and staying up late, the boys were beat and slept in until almost 10:30 Saturday morning.

But I used this time to get my house cleaning done and we were off again once they were awake. We went to my sister's house and had a wonderful BBQ and I played with the boys and two of their cousins in my sister's pool. We were shooting each other with water pistols, and I don't believe I have had that much fun in a long time. I was the only adult in the pool with three 7 year old and one 3 year old. My sister told me that I was just as big a kid as they were. After dark we shot off some fireworks. And then the boys and I drove home in a down pour. It was raining so hard and the wind was blowing so hard, it really was difficult to drive. The kids were petrified, but we made it home safe and sound. But Suze, I didn't talk to a single person on my cell phone during that trip. I needed both hands on the steering wheel just to keep the truck on the road.

My favorite Vacation

So they say it is summertime around here, and I must agree. With temperatures hovering around 100 and sunny hazy skies every day, I would say that the dog daze of summer has come early. So in celebration of summertime, I wanted to share with you all a few pictures of one of my favorite vacations.


We went to Discovery Cove in Orlando Florida the summer of 07. It was a good vacation, but a sad vacation all wrapped up into one. We had booked it with plans of my mother-in-law going with us. She would have loved swimming in the water with all of the fish, and watching the boys interact with the dolphin. Unfortunately she was lying in the hospital in a coma instead. We almost cancelled the whole trip, but our family told us we needed the time away. Our two week trip was shortened to one, and off we went to attempt relaxation under the extremely stressful circumstances.

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Nathan riding Capricorn


I do believe that the 30 minutes I spent with the dolphins were the most relaxing 30 minutes I have ever had. I love dolphins. They are my favorite marine mammal.

Nathan hugging Capricorn

Forrest riding Capricorn

Forrest Kissing Capricorn

Promise to tell the truth?

I got a "talking to" at work on Friday. It really pissed me off, and the more I think about it, the madder I become. I got my ass chewed just for being honest. I was told that by telling the truth, I didn't use very good judgment. What is wrong with this picture?

Are they telling me that honesty is not the greatest virtue here at this facility? Obviously yes!

What has happened to the belief that honesty is always best? Perhaps if I explained the situation you would understand.

I do a test here at work that requires me to extract DNA from Staphylococcus aureus that has grown up from a culture plate. I then replicate this DNA and run tests on it to get it's exact DNA fingerprint. I then compair that DNA fingerprint to other Staphylococcus aureus fingerprints from other patients. It is a long laborious process, and I am the only person at this facility that knows how to do it. In February, I am "supposedly" getting a promotion to Supervisor of my department, although, I have to apply and be chosen for the position just like everyone else. But when I was hired on here, I was basically promised the job. After all, they called me for this job, not the other way around. So I have been told that I need to train someone else to do this particular test so that I am not the only person that knows how come February. I choose someone that I get along with, that is a hard worker, and is eager to learn. She is a new tech, fresh out of school, and I like her work ethics. Her only problem is that she doesn't kiss ass, therefore, the powers that be does not like her. I have been working with her for almost a month now, and they tell me last week that I cannot train her anymore. They do not want her performing the test. I didn't understand why. They gave me some BS about not wanting her to spread herself too thin while she was learning. I then ran down the list of all of the other employees and none of them were good candidates. I was frustrated. I already had this girl able to do half of this test on her own and now I would have to start all over with someone new. I was asked into the Chief's office and she explained to me that whomever learns this test must be able and willing to communicate with her. She told me that this girl did not do that. The two of them do not get along and she really didn't want her doing the test. So I had to go back and tell this girl that she would not be able to train on this test anymore. She asked me why, and I told her the truth. I was then told to poll the other employees to see who else was interested in learning. They were confused and asked why I was not training the other girl anymore. I told them that we needed someone that was able and willing to communicate with the Service Chief. Therefore I told them the truth. Later, I was called into the Supervisor's Office. She was not happy with the second (and only person to volunteer to learn) I picked. She told me that she sent out an email to everyone telling them what skills the test required and for anyone interested to contact the Service Chief my next Friday. She then proceeded to tell me that I did not use very good judgment by telling people the truth about all of this. Needless to say, I was very upset. I apparently don't have any right to pick and choose the people to train for this test; a test that I wrote the procedure to, and no one else in this whole state knows how to perform. Plus, I was wrong for telling the truth.

I'm shocked at the lack of moral values displayed here. I too refuse to kiss ass just to get ahead in place. What ever happened to the idea that honesty, hard work and determination is what it takes to get ahead. Instead it's who you know and who you are willing to blow. And that is just disgusting.

Frightfull

I had so much fun this evening. I put a Sea Mud face and body mask on my face this evening and walked into the living room where the boys were watching T.V. I asked them if they needed anything and they both looked up at me. The looks on their cute little faces were priceless. In unison that asked me what was wrong with me. I told them I was fine. Forrest had a very puzzled look on his face and he says, "But your face is green." "It is?" He shakes his head and goes huh. I make my eyes get really big and I look very closely at him, then I say in a very excited voice, "Oh My God, your face is turning green too! It must be from the chlorine in the pool!" He immediately jumps out of his chair and runs into the bathroom to check out his face. By this time Nathan has caught on and he is laughing. I turned to look at Na and I asked him what he was laughing at. Through his fits of laughter he proceeds to tell me that I played a joke on Forrest. I told him in the same excited voice that his face was starting to turn green too. He started to get up, but by that time Forrest had made his way back from the bathroom exclaiming, "NO IT"S NOT!!!! MY FACE IS NOT GREEN!" I explain to the boys that it is just a mud mask, and that I will wash it off in a little bit. They of course want me to wash it off now, because they don't like it. They told me it looked weird. Well, it may look weird, but it feels Divine. I love how it makes my skin feel when I take it off. Plus it is so soothing and cool when I put it on. And of course, it's from ARBONNE.



So do you think I look weird

BLAH BLAH BLAH !

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

How do you feel today?

Kids are annoying (except for my own)

I have decided that I dislike my kids friends. They are spoiled, annoying, and sometimes I hear them making fun of my children. The boys had a friend spend the night last night. He REALLLLLLY gets on my nerves. This morning I asked them what they wanted for breakfast and they all wanted pancakes. So what normally goes on pancakes? Well at my house, butter, and syrup and from time to time fruit. So I make them all pancakes and I deliver the plates. And in the most annoying whining voice I hear, "But I don't like butter." "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!" I think my exclamation must have startled him because he took his fork and skimmed off the butter that had not already melted into the pancake and ate it anyway. Good choice for the kid. While they were eating breakfast I told them our plan for the day. OK, after breakfast we are going to go to the park and play and then we are going to the store to pick up a birthday present for your friend, and then we are going to the birthday party. I was interrupted in mid sentence by that annoying little voice again. "But I just want to play the Hot Wheels game on the PS2." I could feel the veins in my forehead popping out. I told the kid that the PS2 game was hooked up in our bed room and that my husband was sleeping right now. "Can't you hook it up in the living room?" "I could, but wouldn't you rather go play in the park and get some exercise?" "I hate exercise." GREAT! Not only am I stuck with an annoying opinionated child that interrupts me but he's lazy too! What is happening to the youth of today? My kids love to run and jump and play, and look for bugs, lizards, snakes and frogs. This kid only wants to stay inside where it is cool, play video games, and he doesn't like to get dirty. A boy that doesn't like to get dirty? Have you ever heard of such a kid?

I'm not sure why he annoys me so. Do you think going to bed at 3am had anything to do with it?

Gone

Where am I?
Where have I gone?
I've have slipped beyond myself, I can no longer find me.

This chaos that has become my life has swallowed me whole.
I am only a shell.
A fleshy zombie, no longer myself.

When will the hurt end?
When will the unpleasant surprises end?
When is enough, enough?

Where am I?
I do not know.
But Hell can not be very far away.

I'm stoked

I am so stoked, I just finished a $1,000 Arbonne party! I am so awesome.

I just wanted to share my awesomeness with all of you.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL OF YOU. WHY AM I YELLING AT YOU? BECAUSE I CAN. HOPE EVERYONE HAS HAD A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!!!

Train Wreck

My wonderful Father
I have been an emotional train wreck today. I assume that it is because today would have been my Dad's 87th birthday if he were still alive. I've thought about him and I've missed him all day long. I was down in the cafeteria this morning getting some breakfast when I saw an old man in a wheel chair. He was being pushed around by his daughter, and he was crying. I do not know why he was crying. Perhaps he had been give some bad news at his doctor's appointment, or perhaps he had just lost a family member, I do not know. But they sat at the table across from me. His daughter made several trips to get condiments, napkins, and other stuff, while he sat there crying. Hearing his sobs broke my heart in two. I just could not bear to sit there listening to him cry. I was having a hard enough time controlling my own tears, and his tears just made it that much harder to control. I finished my breakfast and got up to go, but before I left the cafeteria, I walked over to the man and his daughter. I had tears in my eyes when I spoke to him, but this is what I said. "Sir, I could not help but overhear you crying, and it seems you are having a rough day. Well, I'm having a rough day today too, so if you don't mind, I would like to give you a hug. It might help us both feel better." He gave me the biggest and the sweetest hug I have had in months. Then he asked me why I was having such a rough day, so I told him about losing my father and that today would have been his birthday. He then gave me another hug, and patted my hand. He told me thank you. And I said, "No, thank you." His daughter was in tears now, and she patted her fathers hand and she said, "See, Dad, there still are people here that care about you." I still do not know why this old man was crying. I don't even know his name, but he helped me make it through the day. I just hope that I helped him make it through his.

OUT OF ORDER

I've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to blog. I hope everyone is doing well, and I will try to get around to see everyone soon.